Sibling Rivalry: When Parents Play Financial Favourites
BBC News
In this article:
- Financial favouritism can have lasting impacts on adult siblings.
- Experts offer strategies to navigate these complex situations.
By Daniel Thomas
Published 31 August 2026
Do your parents show one sibling more financial support than another? This phenomenon, known as financial favoritism, can lead to jealousy and resentment that lingers into adulthood. In some cases, it even sparks legal disputes after a parent's death.
A Personal Story
John (not his real name), 47, shares his experience:
"My parents, who have always supported my younger brother, recently refused to lend me £10,000 towards a house deposit after I broke up with my partner. This was despite the money being 'well within their financial grasp'. My brother received a deposit for his home and ongoing living expenses support from them."
John feels isolated, believing his needs are secondary to those of his brother. He attributes this feeling to growing up viewing himself as the academically inclined one while his brother was "coddled".
A Common Issue
Forums like Mumsnet and Reddit bristle with posts about siblings feeling financially slighted by their parents. Disagreements often center around:
- Inheritance distribution: How will parental assets be divided?
- Financial support levels: How much help should adult children receive?
- Caregiving contributions: Which sibling has supported parents more?
Understanding the Root Cause
Dr Fenia Christodoulidi from Relate explains:
"Financial support from parents often carries a powerful emotional meaning and some siblings tend to interpret differences in support as signs of favoritism, unequal love, or a lack of recognition."
She advises that even when parents have practical reasons for differing treatment, lack of clear communication can sow the seeds of resentment.
Navigating Favoritism
Christodoulidi recommends:
"Having open conversations about expectations and the reasons behind decisions can help reduce feelings of resentment about money."
However, some families find these discussions difficult to have.
A Balanced Perspective
Ellis, 26, notes that she and her siblings have received different levels of support at various times but it's never caused problems. Her colleague Tasha, 33, while acknowledging past disagreements about perceived favoritism, believes open dialogue is the solution.
"Sometimes people get uncertain or jealous," she says, "and that's quite normal. Talking about money might be taboo in some families, but hashing out differences can help."