When Should You Discuss Salaries in Dating?
BBC News - How Soon into Dating Should You Reveal Your Salary?
BBC Homepage | Skip to content | Accessibility Help
Your account
Home News (Climate, World, UK, Business, Tech, Science) Entertainment & Arts Health ... more
BBC Verify | Newsbeat
By Yasmin Rufo, Business Reporter
You know their favourite restaurant, what happened with their ex, and their most embarrassing childhood story. But do you know how much your partner earns? Money in relationships can be a tricky subject. Discussing salaries early on might sound like sizing up someone's bank balance, while leaving it too late could leave you planning a future without financial clarity.
We asked young adults in New York City and London about their perspectives on revealing salaries during the initial stages of dating.
Different Perspectives on Salary Conversations
-
Willa Morton (25), Tech Sales: Willa believes couples don't necessarily need to share salary details, as "it's just a number" and can be estimated based on one's lifestyle and spending habits. She knows her boyfriend earns more than she does, but they haven't discussed specific figures. Their dates typically cost around $200 (£150), with him usually covering the bigger bills.
-
Alexa Ludato (25), Insurance: Alexa would only discuss salary once a relationship becomes official. Before that, she'd like to know what their job is but not their exact earnings.
-
Vik Sunderaj (22): Vik agrees that discussing salaries should be reserved for established couples. He thinks asking about someone's salary on the first few dates is "a little crazy" and might indicate they aren't the right fit for him.
-
Bridget Shurdut (26), Sales: Bridget finds it incredibly odd if someone asks about her salary within the first few dates, which would be a red flag for her. She prioritises assessing a person's ambition and drive over their monetary earnings.
-
Kate Mansfield (Relationship Coach): Kate suggests that money conversations should begin earlier than many think, focusing on spending, saving, generosity, and lifestyle preferences in the early stages of dating.