Our Memorial Garden: A Home-Based Haven for Grief
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We created a memorial garden at home to help us grieve—a cemetery felt too far away.
By George Sandeman
Published 14 October 2026, 01:06 BST Updated 29 minutes ago
When Emma Moore's daughter Mabel died, visiting her in a cemetery felt too distant.
"I don't like going to them and I feel like [visits] fizzle out," she says. "At first, you'll go regularly and then it'll start being once a year."
Mabel was born prematurely at 27 weeks, her lungs had not fully developed, and she lived for just two days. Emma keeps Mabel's ashes next to a photograph of her tiny feet but she wanted a special place to feel close to her.
"So we created something in the garden... [to] always be reminded of her every day," she tells Morning Live.
The stillness of green spaces "can help us connect with memories" of loved ones, says Andy Langford, clinical director at Cruse Bereavement Support.
And there are ways to create a special place of calm to remember anyone you've lost—even if you don't have a garden or know much about plants.
*"I'd never done anything like this before, so I had no clue about where to start," says Emma, 35, who lives near Bolton with her partner Louis and daughter Penelope.
She chose to dedicate a part of the garden with a willow tree to Mabel. "I've enjoyed doing the gardening and planting. It was nice to focus on something."
Of all the flowers the family have planted in Mabel's garden, Emma's favourite are the lilies.
Morning Live - Memorial Gardens
Families speak about the healing power of nature and how some have created dedicated green spaces at home.
Watch on iPlayer
The story about memorial gardens starts at 1:02:20
White lilies are said to represent peace and are a traditional choice for acts of remembrance in the UK, says botanist James Wong of BBC Gardeners' Question Time.
The flowers are low maintenance and can last for decades.
The colour of flowers in your garden is a personal choice; some may find soft pink, mauve, and lilac relaxing, while others may prefer yellows and reds more vibrant and lifting.
Wong suggests choosing plants with scented leaves for when flowers are not in bloom.
"If you were to plant something like a mint, a eucalyptus, or a rose geranium—they have very strongly scented leaves and they're around for a long period of time."
He also recommends evergreen Italian cypresses, tall and thin plants more commonly used for commemoration in warmer climates, as they capably grow perfectly well outdoors in the UK. They have a woody aroma likened to pine or juniper.
Wong also suggests chrysanthemums, "a classic funeral flower" in East Asian cultures, as they will readily grow here. They have a herbal almost medicinal fragrance.
Emma has placed a bench with a plaque featuring Mabel's name near the willow tree.